C.J. Cron: Plus-Plus Human

Los Angeles Angels 1B prospect C.J. Cron is a good human being. All the scouts will tell you: What Cron doesn’t understand, he does not judge; but he does not fear the unknown — or at least he does not act out of such fear.

His vigilance against cruelty to other living things has plus-plus potential, and he has the work ethic (something that Protestant scouts will point to as additional evidence of Cron’s good human potential) to make that projection manifest in the Big Leagues of Life. His everyday interaction with other humans, especially, are fluid, and he’s a natural at treating others with dignity. He’s very patient at the plate, and in almost every other situation.

He rarely curses out of frustration or anger, but drops f-bombs liberally when camaraderie is at stake.

His footwork while dancing is solid-average, though it has flashed plus at a few recent weddings; more importantly, Cron is able to dance freely (i.e. unfettered by the sort of hyper-self-consciousness that leads to a general malaise) when his mood or the social situations dictates, something that many humans cannot say for themselves. Furthermore, scouts say that this indicates Cron’s ability to participate fully in the emotional experience of human life, an ability which, in turn, leads to a more fully developed sense of compassion.

All the scouts I’ve talked to say that Cron has advanced moral faculties that would play at the highest level right now, but that he needs to be less modest about them; the problem, one evaluator maintains, is that Cron believes modesty is an essential part of being a good human.

Cron needs to substantially reduce his carbon footprint (hey, don’t we all?) if he’s going reach that “elite human being” status, but his fringy performance in this category is due more to misplaced good intentions than a lack of awareness or effort: Cron has been spotted sorting his neighbors’ recycling at night, and he’s planted small trees (none of which have survived a full season, sadly) in every minor league clubhouse he’s called home.

In the end, the ceiling for Cron’s human goodness is extremely high — that of a first division champion of ethics; given his current skill set, the floor is pretty high, too. And Cron should adapt as he grows, while maintaining his core skills, for while he knows that any belief too unscrupulously held is liable to be used as grounds for evil action, he also knows that facing other with dignity and honesty is as good a moral baseline as any.

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