Archive for Some Common Phrases GIF-ustrated

Some Uncommon Phrases GIF-ustrated by Nate Silver

This week, as part of their Superb Owl coverage, the Colbert Report invited guests from the world of sports to come on and talk about the Big Game. One such guest was Nate Silver, a flag bearer in the world of statistical analysis who has since moved on to create his own nerd empire at fivethirtyeight.com. His entrance on the show brings us to today’s uncommon phrase GIF-ustrated: The Struggle of the Statistical Movement to Break into the Mainstream Personified by One of its Most Successful Advocates’ Difficulties Breaking Through Some Paper on National Television. Behold:

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Planet Hoagie, Around Which All of Giancarlo Stanton’s Home Runs Are Put Into Orbit, Ya See

Almost every day during the last three baseball seasons, I have been doing something that no other baseball fan does: I have been checking the box scores of Miami Marlins games.

I have been checking said scores with bated breath, even, hoping to see one thing: a Giancarlo Stanton home run.

The headlines for the highlight videos of Stanton’s dongs are seldom without descriptors such as “mammoth”, “moon shot”, “upper decker”, or “long potato.” Well, last night, Stanton outdid himself at Citizens Bank Park, placing one into orbit around a delicious planetoid, thereby delighting a powerful entertainment god and gaining for himself a third and gaudy monicker.

Suckle your eye-lips on this teat-treat:


Rudeeeeeeeeeeee!

Absurdism is best served GIF!


Some Common Phrases GIF-ustrated: Pence-ive

Hunter Pence has just struck out. Now, he is quietly thinking as he half-watches his teammate Brandon Crawford strikeout.

He is not thinking about his recent strikeout. He is not thinking about Brandon Crawford striking out or Brandon Crawford or Brandon Crawford’s hair. He is not thinking about baseball at all, or anyone associated with baseball.

What is he thinking about?

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Some Common Phrases GIF-ustrated: Hustle

This common phrase, which has been GIF-ustrated, comes via Astros rookie shortstop Jonathan Villar, who has now stolen six bases in his first eight games.

villargifustrated

(Deep, personal fact: This may have caused me to shout certain expletives while watching my beloved Astros on TV)


Some Common Phrases, GIF-ustrated: Robbery

Ichiro ranks #1 in AFI’s 50 Greatest Heist Movies of All Time.

robberygifustrated

YOINK!


Some Common Phrases, GIF-ustrated: GRITTY

Today installment of Some Common Phrases, GIF-ustrated, features a man that has long embodied the very essence of “grittiness.”

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You Made It Through the Week, and Josh Willingham Hit a Homerun. Congratulations to You Both.

Midwesterners are a hearty, kindly folk. They are polite and well-mannered.

They are hard-working, and though they find pleasure in but a few, simple things — a Josh Willingham homerun, for instance — they enjoy those things uninhibitedly. They sincerely hope that you are able to partake of similar wholesomeness in this earthly life before you roast in hell in the hereafter.

If you need directions, or the recipe for a high-carb, high-protein hot dish, just ask. If you need to be reaffirmed, please refer to the above GIF.


An Uncommon Phrase, GIF-ustrated: “Ladies and Gentlemen of the Audience, Please Be Quiet About the Baseball I Just Hit Out of This Stadium. Thank You.”

So, okay: Joey Votto hit a baseball out of the entire stadium the other day. That happens sometimes.

But then Joey Votto felt uncomfortable about all the cheering and stuff the crowd was doing because of how far and hard he just hit a baseball. Maybe he was concerned that Yu Darvish would feel bad if the crowd hooted and hollered too much. Maybe he became embarrassed the way a man does when he plays amongst boys.

Whatever it was, Joey Votto felt the need to signal the crowd to be silent.

And the crowd obeyed.


Some Common Phrases, GIF-ustrated: Can of Corn

Our next installment of SCPG involves Desmond Jennings taking care of a “Can of Corn.”

As our GIF shows, Bronson Arroyo also knows his way around a can of corn.


Some Common Phrases, GIF-ustrated: High Five

Our exploration of phrases common to sport, particularly to baseball, continues today with the concept of the “high five.”

An oft-used method of celebration, the high five has copious worldly (i.e. imperfect) iterations, but for this series, I have settled for no less than the Platonic Form High Five — once again brought to us by that most delightful of baseballing cherubs, Manny Ramirez.

Enjoy!


The only way to High Five.