CB Bucknor Couldn’t Help but Notice You


I was up on the dance floor, trying my best not to make a fool of myself. I was having a good time, though I wasn’t really connecting with anyone. AllĀ  the guys seemed interested in other girls. Then, for some reason, my eyes moved down to the back of club, and I saw you. You were dressed a little plainly — grey pants, black shirt, black hat. You had an impressive upper body.

A group moved in front of you and I lost sight. I waited until the song was done, and made my way to the bar. You came up behind me.

“Buy you a drink?” you asked.

I noticed that you didn’t actually have a huge upper body, but were wearing a chest protector, which I thought was weird.

“I’m CB,” you said. “I couldn’t help but notice you up there. You looked great.”

‘Thanks. I should get back. My friends are still up there.”

“You can stay a few minutes, can’t you? I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I didn’t at least try to talk to the prettiest girl in the place.”

Four hours later, we were still talking as the bar closed. I never did make it back to the dance floor.


(tremendous GIF credit goes to probably-real-person Bill Baer).

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David G. Temple is the Managing Editor of TechGraphs and a contributor to FanGraphs, NotGraphs and The Hardball Times. He hosts the award-eligible podcast Stealing Home. Dayn Perry once called him a "Bible Made of Lasers." Follow him on Twitter @davidgtemple.

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Craig Breslow
Craig Breslow

Hahaha. That Bucknor is quite the sweet talker.