Happy Hanukkah from the Orioles

“I know what will make for a marginally-interesting post! I’ll check the Twitter feeds of Jewish baseball players and compile all of their Hanukkah-related tweets into one mega-post.”

Here are the results of my exhaustive search. Danny Valencia (who is indeed Jewish) re-tweeted the Orioles’ Happy Hanukkah tweet. This completes the results of my search. I thought it would end up more interesting than this, Sam Fuld. I hoped for so much more, Craig Breslow. Are you not on Twitter, Ian Kinsler? Oh well, not every idea leads to great success. Happy 5th night of Hanukkah.

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Jeremy Blachman is the author of Anonymous Lawyer, a satirical novel that should make people who didn’t go to law school feel good about their life choices. Read more at McSweeney’s or elsewhere. He likes e-mail.

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It’s the 5th night already! I’m going to have a lot of chanting to do tonight…