Mike Fiers: Replacement Addition to My Notgraphantasy Team

Obsessive readers may recall the presence of fictional pitcher Henry Rowengartner on my Notgraphantasy team. Rowengartner was able to throw 103 miles an hour after breaking his arm. According to MLB.com, Mike Fiers of the Brewers has suffered a similar arm injury. Thus, logic insists, he will soon be throwing 103 miles an hour, and will also soon regress to twelve years old, in a mash-up of Rookie of the Year and an inverted version of the movie Big.

Thomas Ian Nicholas, who played Rowengartner in the movie, recently threw out the first pitch at a Cubs game, to celebrate the 20th anniversary of the movie.

I am unable to find video evidence, so I am going to say he was in fact able to throw the ball 103 MPH. Sorry, Dioner Navarro.

Movies used to be so good.

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Jeremy Blachman is the author of Anonymous Lawyer, a satirical novel that should make people who didn't go to law school feel good about their life choices. Read more at McSweeney's or elsewhere. He likes e-mail.

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Damaso's Burnt Shirt
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Give the Cubs credit as they really tried to use movie magic. It didn’t matter how much money the Cubs paid, but all the CGI in the world couldn’t make Carlos Marmol throw a strike.