New Fantasy Baseball Web Site


It was 1996, and B.J. Surhoff never looked better.

Friends, I have seen the future, and the future is now. It comes with hyperlinks, tab-delimited tables, and bulleted lists. It comes in typefaces with dignified names, like Times New Roman and Courier New. It comes fast and it changes on a dime, provided you click reload often. It’s called the World Wide Web, and it will forever explode your notions of possibility.

I went down this rabbit hole this morning, and before I knew it, I’d spent hours “browsing” through the steamy jungle of fresh content. I felt the thrill of connection, the rush of information overload, and the power of leaving my fantasy competitors and their mouldering boxscores in my cybernetic dust. Here is what I learned:

Readers, the time has come — get online or get left behind! If you’re looking for help getting connected, just give me a call. I’m sure I could spare an AOL Free Trial CD-ROM.

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How am I going to call you? I’m on the road right now. No access to a phone. Who do you think I am, Banknotes Harper?