News broke yesterday regarding Major League Baseball’s new partnership with wireless phone provider T-Mobile, in that the traditional bullpen landlines will be replaced by T-Mobile cellular phones in a way that won’t be ostentatious at all, I’m sure. The following are possible mishaps that will spiral from this new, most executive of partnerships:
The influx of camera shots on the bullpen will force bullpen managers to stay awake for the whole game.
Makers of fart apps will see a drastic spike in profits come April.
Everyone’s walk-up music will be that “One, Two, Kalamazoo” song.
At least one person is getting Favre’d from the dugout.
Attempting to text in his request, Bud Black asks for Miles “Molpjwa” to warm up.
Upwards of 10,000 “Can you hear me now?” jokes from television broadcasters.
T-Mobile Girl totally botches the National Anthem at the Wild Card play-in game.
Glitch allows T-Mobile customers to use their MLB At Bat app to change scoreboard messages.
Tim Lincecum gains 70 pounds, as he is now able to order pizza from the dugout.