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Possible Mishaps Regarding Bullpen Cell Phones


News broke yesterday regarding Major League Baseball’s new partnership with wireless phone provider T-Mobile, in that the traditional bullpen landlines will be replaced by T-Mobile cellular phones in a way that won’t be ostentatious at all, I’m sure. The following are possible mishaps that will spiral from this new, most executive of partnerships:

The influx of camera shots on the bullpen will force bullpen managers to stay awake for the whole game.

Makers of fart apps will see a drastic spike in profits come April.

Everyone’s walk-up music will be that “One, Two, Kalamazoo” song.

At least one person is getting Favre’d from the dugout.

Double-Bubble Groupons.

Attempting to text in his request, Bud Black asks for Miles “Molpjwa” to warm up.

Upwards of 10,000 “Can you hear me now?” jokes from television broadcasters.

T-Mobile Girl totally botches the National Anthem at the Wild Card play-in game.

Glitch allows T-Mobile customers to use their MLB At Bat app to change scoreboard messages.

Tim Lincecum gains 70 pounds, as he is now able to order pizza from the dugout.