Rejected Offers For Kevin Youkilis (AL)

Now that Youk has been traded to the White Sox, I thought I’d take a look at the other offers that teams had on the table…

Orioles: Bullpen catcher / batting practice pitcher Rudy Arias.

Indians: Charles Nagy.

Tigers: Souvenir t-shirt and foam finger autographed by Justin Verlander’s niece.

Royals: Danny Duffy, Felipe Paulino, Joakim Soria, Blake Wood, and jar of elbow ligaments.

Angels: One rally monkey, deceased.

Twins: A couple of bats, balls, Danny Valencia, two hot dogs and some fries.

Yankees: Whichever team physician originally said Brett Gardner would be back from his injury in no time.

A’s: Kurt Suzuki, Daric Barton, and whatever Manny Ramirez rights we’re still holding onto.

Mariners: Naming rights for four bricks on the Safeco Field Fan Walk.

Rays: A weird wuss.

Rangers: One Chicken Express Nolan Ryan Snow Monkey. (Actual July 1st promotional giveaway.)

Blue Jays: Colby Rasmus, Brett Lawrie, and Brandon Morrow. Just kidding.

NL coming tomorrow.

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Jeremy Blachman is the author of Anonymous Lawyer, a satirical novel that should make people who didn't go to law school feel good about their life choices. Read more at McSweeney's or elsewhere. He likes e-mail.

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I’d go for the monkey


There are so many monkeys.

Assuming this means Cherington put out a monkey feeler.