Spotted: Greg Minton Customized Van Driven By Enos Cabell

Today, while strolling to my morning massage, I happened upon this rolling through the dawn-Frenched streets of America, U.S.A. …

I flagged down a taxi and followed it to the shopping center that features TG&Y and Otasco. Like you, I assumed Enos Cabell had merely slathered his poon schooner in Greg Minton Fatheads. Upon closer inspection, however, I discovered that each commissioned Greg Minton image was lovingly crafted by Olan Mills himself.

I studied the Greg Minton customized van for the duration of eight cigarettes — in the back, I could make out what appeared to be a velveteen sofa the color of an eggplant beaten with a liver — and then I noticed Enos Cabell sprinting toward me out of the TG&Y.

What happened next, I dare not say.