The Cure for Spring Baseball Fever


If the chance to watch tons of spring training games on your computer is the CURE for spring baseball fever, I’m confused as to what exactly spring baseball fever is. Because I would think MLB.TV would more accurately be the CAUSE of spring baseball fever, or at least a symptom that you have it.

The cure for spring baseball fever, on the other hand, might be a Lifetime Movie Marathon, or maybe this weekend’s Polar Vortex, to make you feel like spring will never really arrive. Or perhaps the cure is a broken Internet connection and no more cable, so you can’t watch or read about baseball. Maybe the dissolution of your fantasy league, or a spouse threatening to leave you if you spend one more minute talking about your keeper list. Perhaps the cure for spring baseball fever is doing your taxes, or going to a funeral.

MLB.TV, on the other hand, will only make your spring baseball fever worse.

(And, yes, I spent way too much time thinking about that headline.)

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Jeremy Blachman is the author of Anonymous Lawyer, a satirical novel that should make people who didn't go to law school feel good about their life choices. Read more at McSweeney's or elsewhere. He likes e-mail.

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I thought for sure I was going to see a “MORE COWGILL!!!” memes and/or gifs. I’m disappointed.