- NotGraphs Baseball - https://www.fangraphs.com/not -

Totally Unaltered Tweet: Mariano Rivera Will Continue to Shag, and You Can’t Stop Him

Night

NotGraphs’ Investigative Reporting Investigation Team has confirmed — through means most nefarious and, quite frankly, disturbing — that Mariano Rivera has but one move in the bedroom, and, much like his cutter, it is unmatched.

Remember: Safety first, kids. Unplanned pregnancies are the worst.

H/T: Mr. Nightengale.