Would-Be Superstars of the Springfield Isotopes

In my column this week, I mentioned—as a throwaway line—that you could make a pretty team out of the players who have appeared on The Simpsons. Well, time to put my money where my mouth is. The only rule I’ve applied to this list is that the players in question had to actually have voiced themselves on the show. Merely being mentioned, or even drawn, is not sufficient.

Catcher: Gene Tenace, Regarding Margie
First Base: Mark McGwire, Brother’s Little Helper
Second Base: Steve Sax, Homer at the Bat
Shortstop: Ozzie Smith,Homer at the Bat
Third Base: Wade Boggs, Homer at the Bat
Left Field: Jose Canseco, Homer at the Bat
Center Field: Ken Griffey, Jr. Homer at the Bat
Right Field: Darryl Strawberry, Homer at the Bat
Right-Handed Pitcher: Roger Clemens, Homer at the Bat
Left-Handed Pitcher: Randy Johnson, Bart Has Two Mommies
Manager: Mike Scioscia, Homer at the Bat, MoneyBART
GM: Sal Bando, Regarding Margie
Special Advisor to the GM: Bill James, MoneyBART


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Jim G.
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Jim G.

Mattingly played a little outfield when he was young, maybe he can take one of Canseco’s corner spots.

Lee
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Lee

Of course, Jose Canseco wasn’t all that good at playing one corner outfield spot at a timne.

hopbitters
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hopbitters

Canseco manning both ends of the outfield is just too much to contemplate. I’m pretty sure Strawberry voiced himself in Homer at the Bat.

Richard Barbieri
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Richard Barbieri

As Homer would say, D’oh!

That should be Straw in right field, as hopbitters pointed out.

David
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David

Poor Don Mattingly.  Maybe he could be the bench coach.

Paul G.
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Paul G.
Double Canseco makes perfectly good sense!  There is a throwaway gag in that episode with Homer Simpson walking into a scene where he is already present.  Apparently there was a cloning device around there somewhere.  We have infinite Cansecos!  Not sure who would want them, you know, other than Madonna, and I’m guessing she’s not all that keen on the idea either.  Or so we can hope.  Ugh. So does the player piano get to be the stadium organ?  Canseco put a lot of effort into saving it.  Or at least whichever Canseco clone managed to get it out without… Read more »
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