FanGraphs+ Player-Profile Game: Question #1

Play the player-profile game every day this week at 1:00pm ET. We’re giving away a free annual subscription to FanGraphs+ to the first reader who guesses correctly the identity of that day’s mystery player. (Limit one copy per customer).

As the absurdly coiffed Eno Sarris announced this morning, the newest iteration of FanGraphs+ is now available in exchange for your hard-earned money — and any other kind of money, too.

As in recent years, we’re celebrating this important Moment in History by way of the player-profile game.

Said game is easy: the author offers the text of an actual player profile from the newest iteration of FG+, being careful to omit any proper names that might reveal the identity of the player in question. The reader, in turn, attempts to identify the player using only the details provided in the profile.

First reader to guess correctly (in the comments section below) gets a free annual subscription to FanGraphs+, worth roughly the equivalent of Alec Baldwin’s watch in Glengarry Glen Ross.

Today’s entry comes to us courtesy Mike Petriello.

Who is it?

There was a time, back when he was hitting 27 homers and using his plus defense to stick in the lineup, that [BLANK] might have been useful in fantasy baseball, if you squinted hard enough to look past his batting average. That time is long past, especially now that [BLANK] hit just .181/.204/.238 in his age-36 season before being cut loose by [BLANK'S TEAM] in July. That line is actually just .204/.261/.321 over the last three seasons combined, so it seems likely that this is the end of the road. So long, [BLANK]. We’ll always remember you for somehow spinning a .301 weighted on-base average into a 13-year career.

Subscribe to FanGraphs+ right now by clicking this long and pretty awkward hyperlinked sentence.




Print This Post



Carson Cistulli occasionally publishes spirited ejaculations at The New Enthusiast.

32 Responses to “FanGraphs+ Player-Profile Game: Question #1”

You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.
  1. John Choiniere says:

    Neil Walker

    Vote -1 Vote +1

    • John Choiniere says:

      This is an embarrassing guess. I blame my enthusiasm for FG+ for not clicking through, and just trusting google search result summaries.

      Vote -1 Vote +1

  2. Scott Davis says:

    Brandon Inge

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  3. semperty says:

    Brandon Inge

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  4. John Choiniere says:

    Whoops, too quick, meant Brandon Inge.

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  5. Jake Mailhot says:

    Jeff Francoeur

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  6. tmperlow says:

    Brandon Inge

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  7. Pale Hose says:

    Vernon Wells?

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  8. ettin says:

    Michael Young?

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  9. Brian says:

    Brandon Inge

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  10. djacobs says:

    Is it A.J. Pierzynski ?

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  11. Matt says:

    Brandon Inge!

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  12. Eli Marger says:

    Brandon Inge

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  13. Walker1017 says:

    Who is Brandon Inge

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  14. Prospector says:

    Brandon Inge

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  15. wfporter says:

    Brandon Inge?

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  16. Brad says:

    Paul Assenmacher

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  17. The Duke says:

    The Earl of Sandwich, damnit.

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  18. t ball says:

    Maybe it’s Lupus?

    +5 Vote -1 Vote +1

  19. Schaf says:

    Brandon Inge

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  20. Brandon Inge says:

    Oh my God, it’s me!!!

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  21. ComericaSnark says:

    Man, if you ever want to see a great success story of whiteness in baseball, Inge was it. The way some people in Michigan and Michigan media talked about him, it was as if Jesus had descended to play 3rd base. He was always ‘playing the right way,’ ‘playing hard,’ being a ‘good person,’ and ‘setting a good example.’ Said example being 15.4 fWAR over 13 seasons, apparently. The amount of excuses that were made for keeping him as the Tigers’ starting 3rd baseman became really quite the spectacle.

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  22. Mooseman78 says:

    Carlos Pena?

    Vote -1 Vote +1

  23. Schaf says:

    Brandon Inge
    Brandon Inge
    Pittsburgh Pirates
    Brandon Inge

    Vote -1 Vote +1

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>

Current day month ye@r *